In happy housecleaning news, yesterday I accomplished the equivalent of about 2.75 sparkly rooms all by myself; one mostly super sparkly, and the others… ummm, kind of halfway sparkly. Soooo the whole house isn’t clean, which means my husband was kind of right, which sucks because I totally wanted to win the “Yes I can focus long enough to clean a house!” battle. But apparently these chicks aren’t avid fans of the site. Or maybe they’re devoted readers (probably) who just don’t make “Surprise! We’re cleaning your house for free!” visits. And there’s really no need to bring up that b-l-o-g p-o-s-t that I DID NOT SPEND TIME ON, right? Right.
One reason it’s annoying to be told that I can’t focus long enough to clean a house is because, well, it’s kind of an annoying thing to say. But even worse, it’s true. Which is COMPLETELY 1,025% annoying to live with. See, way back when I said I had ADD with a side of baby, I wasn’t kidding. So even though the baby was gone yesterday, the ADD stuck around and messed with my cleaning attempts at every turn. Don’t believe me? Take a look:
editor’s note: brain thoughts are in blue, because blue is pretty. Also, I’m trying to make things easy on you readers. You’re in my brain now. Things could get messy.
10:00 a.m. – Goodbye Husband and Baby! Ooooh, I’ll show him. I am so gonna clean this entire house until it gleams.
10:01 a.m. – OMG Chick-fil-a is still open for breakfast! **Are we still trying to save money? Moving on…
10:15 a.m. – See that was fast, good for me! still plenty of time to cle– Oh hi, neighbor man! What’s that? It’s depressing that I am not able to cook for myself? HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD ONE! ::stabby eyes at neighbor man:: Nothing and nobody better get between me and my Chik’n minis. Now I’ll just eat my delicious breakfast reeeal quick, so’s I can get up to that bathroom and start me a scrubbin’.
10:45 a.m. –Omg this house is just messy. Everything everywhere is messy. I can’t clean everywhere at once. I need to make a list to organize myself.
11:30 a.m. – It’s ok that the list took forever, because whatever time might have been lost in wondering ‘what do I do next?’ is cancelled out because of the list!
11:31 a.m. – Ok just so I’m not tempted while I’m cleaning, I’ll check facebook. Real quick.
12:00 p.m. I’d better check my email too. OooohbabygirltightsIneedthose! Which reminds me I need to organize all the baby’s clothes (add that to the list)… ok so pack away the old stuff, unpack the hand-me-down bags, and if I don’t get them organized – omg Josie needs these super cute socks more than the tights. No wait, *I* need a scrub brush. Ah poop. I’m supposed to be cleaning.
12:01 p.m. – walk up to the bathroom to clean. Shoot I’m in pajamas. I need to find better cleaning clothes.
12:30 p.m. walk back into the bathroom to clean. Do we not own a scrub brush?
It’s in the hallway closet. It’s in the other hallway closet. It’s in the basement. It’s in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.
12:45 p.m. – Sweet, found it. Um, wow. This cabinet is a MESS.
12:46 p.m. – reorganize the kitchen sink cabinet. Yup.
1:15 p.m. – walk back into the bathroom to clean. Realize I am holding the world’s worst scrub brush.
1:16 p.m. – This is the world’s worst scrub brush.
1:17 p.m. – drive to Target to buy a new scrub brush.**
**And manilla folders, just a few grocery items, new face wash, and and and…
2:45 p.m. (and $100 poorer) – walk back into the bathroom to clean.
Whose dumb idea was it to clean the house today, anyway?
On the bright side… well, on the bright side, my husband tolerates his mad hatter of a wife. But also, like I said, I did manage to clean approximately 2.75 rooms. The bathroom eventually got scrubbed like nobody’s business, and now that bitch smells fresher than a YMCA swimmin’ pool. That was a terrible comparison. Well take my word for it, it smells nice. Unfortunately I also attempted to organize all of the baby’s new and old clothes, but then I got distracted. Now her room looks like an insane hoarder moved in (don’t look at me like that). I have until next Sunday to get that taken care of. But don’t you worry, I’ll have it sparkling in no time…