When I was home with the baby all summer, my husband would come home from work and I’d lovingly
throw hand the baby to him while saying, “Please take her for 5 minutes, I’m exhausted!” He usually countered with the age-old “Um, I worked in an office all day. *I* am the one who is tired.” Cue stabby knife eyes at husband.
Don’t run away in fear, this isn’t an anti-husband bitch post or a pissing contest to see who was more tired. We were both really freaking tired. It’s just that I was NICER and KEPT THE BABY WHILE YOU GOT TO PLAY ON YOUR LAPTOP! ::ahem:: (smooths curls and fixes monster wifey face)
But seriously. I was tired. So tired that I actually fell asleep during Law and Order. DUN DUN. And I started drinking coffee again, which kinda sucked because up until summer, I’d been going strong in the midst of a high-horse “I have natural energy, I don’t need coffee!” phase. I would think to myself daily, “babies are exhausting!” And also simultaneously think how awesome I was for managing to take care of one while a) remembering to brush my teeth and b) not falling asleep on top of it.
In the summer, once I’d get the baby down for her blessed nighttime sleep, I was still able to stay awake until 1 or 2 a.m., even though I was “tired.” Now that I’m back at school, 8:30 p.m. rolls around and I’m lookin’ more like this:
So raise your hand if you’ve ever been knocked off your high horse by a baby… after all, they’re tiny, but freakishly strong. Kind of like this lady. Poor summer mom Hangin’ On says, “I’m tired.” Teacher mom Hangin’ On plays the world’s tiniest violin and says, “You don’t even know what tired is!”
Who’s idea was it to only put 24 hours into a day, anyway? And what sort of bribe would be acceptable to warrant squeezing in a few more??